When I first decided to revamp my blog and buy my own domain name and to write regularly, I really didn’t know what it was going to look like. Is this a home improvement blog? A craft blog? A homeschool blog? Where am I going with this? And in the last couple of months I’ve written about making things, painting things, cooking things, and homeschool. And while all of those things are what I do, that’s only part of who I am. Those are things I enjoy doing but it’s not what consumes me. I feel like I’m struggling to find my voice, struggling to find what to write while posts swirl around in my head about my relationship with Christ, Christian living, and devotional topics. Here’s the thing, I’m not a theologian. I don’t want to be a theologian but I love the Christian walk. The Christian experience thrills me, drives me, is what wakes me up in the morning and often is how I keep putting one foot in front of the other. In all of my questions this is what I’ve found to be true. I like making things, I love making things pretty. There are many facets to who I am and what makes me, Amy. And if any of those facets of me begin to get starved because I’m focusing on one aspect, it’s the neglected ones that start screaming- loudly.
Guess which facet of me is screaming right now?
When I was in college and God called me to ministry this is what my goal, focus, and purpose was: To see God heal people the way He had healed me. I wasn’t physically sick but my heart was broken. My spirit was crushed and it was Jesus that began to bring me to life. I got the opportunity to study music, my true love, and I set off into full time ministry. I was so young and was far more immature than I realized and was in need of much more healing than I knew. Thankfully God called me away to a place where I could find real healing. With people that were willing to get into the trenches with me and dig out all the ugly. He gave me an amazing mentor and Life Group family that weren’t willing to let me continue to walk in brokenness- I’m talking about the brokenness that comes from what people had done and not the brokenness that comes from the Holy Spirit that leads to repentance and healing. They have spoken truth into my life and I am not the same. If I were to not write about things like that then I might as well not write at all.
I can’t write from the perspective of one who knows it all and is ready to share it with the masses. I can write from the perspective of one who has been delivered from much and wants to share that truth and hope with whoever wants to hear it.
While making things pretty…and sometimes yummy…while homeschooling and dealing with doggy shenanigans.
Because that is who I am and what I do. And I am so incredibly thankful for all of it.