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Today I have to find a woman and I have to pray for her.

I’ve seen her at Target many times, her neck twisted at an awkward angle, immobile. Day in and day out she works, standing behind a cash register. I’ve seen her and my heart breaks.

But not enough to follow the voice that says, “Pray for her to be healed”.

Fear. Again.

It isn’t that God hasn’t given me the courage, He has. But fear is easier.

I can choose to walk in faith and obedience or fear and unbelief. I say that, “He is with me”, “He is trustworthy”! But my actions are the antithesis of those statements.

I can’t control where she is today but I have prayed that I will find her. I’ve prayed that God would work on her heart ahead of time. I’ve prayed to find her away from the cash registers so as not to fluster her (yesterday in my internal struggle I accidentally entered the wrong PIN #¬†for my debit card and flustered her quite a bit). But ultimately my goal is to find her. To finally be Jesus to her the way He’s asked me to be.

I can’t heal her but I can be obedient. Today.

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