I’ve already told part of this big rebirth that the Buttons have experienced lately but in order to tell my part of it I’ll have to back up a bit…to the end of April. I was praying one day, April 28th, and I knew that the Lord was asking me to let go of distractions, mainly social media, for a month. I decided that I would and the next morning the Holy Spirit reminded me that He’d asked this of me before, only it was for 2 weeks and that time my life fell apart shortly after. Which sent me into an immediate panic. I figured if things were that bad last time then surely this time somebody was going to die or something like that. So, during that time of laying aside distraction the Holy Spirit and I dealt with some things…like fear. I also went on a very, very strict diet. I ate no grains of any sort, no gluten free bread and not a single grain of rice for the whole time. Part of it was to lose weight and I was desperately trying to get healthy but it was also part of the focus that I needed for that time.
On May 19th, I was sitting on the couch and I heard the Lord say, “I want to heal you of gluten intolerance.” And my first response was, “Why would you want to do that?” I’d become accustomed to not eating wheat, it was normal to me. I didn’t have cravings for anything and I really didn’t care if I ever ate wheat or bread again. It had been about 6 weeks since I’d even eaten a piece of gluten free bread so it just wasn’t something I thought about all that much. But I know enough to know that when God is offering then I need to take Him up on it. I said, “Lord I don’t understand but I receive your healing.” Then He told me to have my husband anoint me with oil and pray for me.
I have to say that I felt embarrassed asking Travis to pray for me. I wanted it to be his idea. But what I quickly realized is that it was my own pride that was keeping me from asking him to pray for me. So I did ask him to pray on Saturday and of course, he was more than happy to pray for me. In fact it was Travis that God spoke to 2 1/2 years ago and said that He was going to heal me completely and he had believed it ever since. I thought that maybe it was God’s intention to heal me through not eating gluten but Travis never, ever believed that. He believed that I would be healed of gluten intolerance. So, he anointed me with oil and he, Chloe and Halle prayed for me to be healed. And as they did, I immediately confessed my pride and repented. Afterwards, Chloe said, “Mom, maybe you’ll be able to eat pizza by my birthday!”I asked Travis what he thought-should I eat something with wheat- but he wasn’t sure so we kept doing things the same way as usual.
About 3 weeks later- clearly we weren’t in a hurry- we were in church and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Don’t continue to abstain.” Abstaining? Is that what I was doing? I never really looked at it that way before. I saw it as, “I cannot eat that”, but I guess that’s what abstaining is. Anyway, I immediately determined that I was going to submit this to my husband and I wasn’t eating anything unless we were both certain that we were hearing from God and this is what we were supposed to do. Because what I ate didn’t just affect me. It affected my husband and my children, it affected our relationships and the places we went, or didn’t go, it affected what we did and how often we were at church together as a family. It affected us spiritually when we couldn’t make it to meetings or Life Group or worship. This gluten intolerance affected every area of our lives…and I wasn’t about to go it alone.
We talked about it after that service and Travis said that he felt that the Holy Spirit was speaking to him about it too but he wasn’t sure and wanted to pray about it. So I left it alone and let him pray about it. I’m not sure how long but it could have been 2 1/2 weeks, something like that, and I finally just asked the Lord to speak to Travis clearly in a way that he could understand so we could put this behind us. And He did.
I think that Travis was still nervous but one night when we were hanging out with our friend, Amanda, she made dinner for us and I had some sauce that she’d made for some Kale (completely delish by the way) and I immediately tasted soy sauce- it’s typically made with wheat. I didn’t want to make a fuss so I didn’t say anything until Amanda went into the other room and I said to Travis, “That sauce has soy sauce in it.” In kind of an “oh shoot” sort of way and he said, “Don’t worry about it.” I knew then that he was getting ready to give me the go-ahead. If there is anyone that has fiercely guarded me the last two years in regards to food, it’s Travis. He would pin people down, asking questions to see if something possibly had wheat in it. He didn’t care if we walked out of a restaurant or if he made people uncomfortable, he was going to make sure any food that crossed my lips was safe. I appreciate that about him.
So fast forward to our celebration of Halle’s rebirth…
I knew it was time so I told Travis that I wanted to eat a cupcake and he was okay with it. During the last two years I’d said, “Would God heal me just so I could eat a cupcake?” I’m sure it’s not just so I can eat a cupcake but it made me smile today remembering that. So, I had a cupcake with turquoise frosting and a butterfly ring on top.
And I knew that I had done the right thing.
In 2 years of being gluten free I was completely unable to heal myself. The very best that I could do was to keep the symptoms at bay. I was always one food choice away from being sick. But He healed me. I feel better now than I have in…well, longer than I can remember. I worked out today and it was amazing working out without feeling like I had 20 pound lead weights strapped to my chest. It wasn’t hard to breath. I didn’t feel awful. Because no matter that I’d not eaten gluten in 2 years, I never felt normal.
So why? Why would God do this for me? Why would He give me this amazing gift when I wasn’t even asking for it and didn’t think I needed it? I can only answer with a scripture that came to my mind when I was asking that question,
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”
The second part of that verse says:
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
And I have to tell you that the second part of that verse is really speaking to me today. Being gluten intolerant and not knowing it was like I was confined to a cot in a prison cell. There were days and weeks and months that I was so sick that I couldn’t even move. There were beautiful days that I laid on the couch and cried because I was too sick to get outside and enjoy it. Not eating gluten was like still being in prison but I got to get out into the prison yard. I could see the sun, I could see the grass, I could feel the wind on my face but I was still imprisoned. Being healed is walking out of those prison doors, not on parole, but being free.
P.S.- I haven’t only had a cupcake- I didn’t have room in the post for all the gluten-full things I’ve eaten: Cupcake(s), pancakes, PB &J, pizza, fried chicken, chips with gluten listed as an ingredient, pita chips and cake. I don’t plan on eating those things all the time but it was really yummy